AlwaySane Is In Da House

A Domesticated Process

DISCLAIMER: This is NOT a recipe. This is just a PROOF that I, the SANE, cook! Do not attempt to follow the instructions unless with adult supervision. The Sane shall not be responsible for any grave consequences that result from this like diarrhea, vomitting or death. But if you DO try it (even though I told you not to) and found it to be good (thank you thank you), direct money orders or cheques are accepted by Always the Sane. Email me for information on kind donations. Thank you! I very nice one.


Just to prove that I, Alwaysane, am able to cook reasonably well (by that I mean not getting diarrhea after eating the food).

Here, are the proofs: cold, hard photos.

(And I am also grieving the fact that no one replied to my call for potential husbands yet. Pui! All you eligible bachelors, I look down on you!)


So one fine day, I was studying absolutely too much.

















See? Study until the whole table kenna tilted! I really am studying too hard :P

I looked at the clock.

OH NO!

Time is up! I need to cook dinner before I go to school!

First, I need to prepare my ingredients.
















Serious. The brand of rice is called "Success". The rice is wishing me success in my cooking. Nothing can go wrong! I am Queen of the Kitchen!

And congratulate me, I managed to find kai lan!!! My favorite vegetable on the whole planet! And I found it! I thought I would never eat kai lan again for the next two years but I WAS WRONG! Look! It's KAI LAN!

















So I very happily chopped up the vegetables. A lot but then bo bian. If don't eat, they will turn bad and then I have to throw them away. Like that considered waste money, then my daddy will not be very happy. And I don't want my daddy to be unhappy.

















Next I chopped up the tomato and the mushroom. Hmm...actually I'm trying to be creative here as I have never eaten kai lan with tomato before. Anyway, worth a try. And also because tomato going to turn bad if I don't eat it pronto.

















And then there's the hard and frozen chicken breast meat. I put it into the microwave to be defrosted. Looks kind of yucky, like human lung... But don't care lah. Meat is meat. Carnivor is carnivor.
















Very little rice hor? Kenna cheated? Wait and see...

Everybody remember Success? I don't know who's this genius but the person who came up with this idea must be saluted and given a standing ovation. I mean, you can now cook rice without a rice cooker, and you don't have to stand in front of the stove stirring the rice continuously. This wonderful invention is basically proven to be used efficiently by idiots like me.

Each box of Success has five bags of rice. Each bag is perforated with tiny holes so that water can flow in but rice cannot flow out.

















You have a pot of boiling water on the stove and "pomp" you throw in a packet of Success. Now, just wait 10 minutes for the rice to be fragrant and successful.
















Chicken is now defrosted. Next step: marinate it. I know, I know. This step looks extremely out of place. I should have marinated the chicken long long time ago so that the flavor can seep in and all that, but I FORGOT. Simple.

And you are not the one eating, so why complain?

















Sizzle Sizzle, Boiling Fizzle! Boiling pot of Success and kai lan stems. The boiling of the kai lan stems is to soften them so that my teeth won't break into pieces when I bite into them later. And I don't want to use another pot to boil the stems because 1) waste water and 2) lazy to wash.

















Frying the chicken. I don't know if the pot is too hot or what but once I put the chicken in, the oil splatter like mad. I think my landlady will have a hard time cleaning up the stove. But, the chicken smells real good. *Pats on own back twice

















Tomato and Mushroom joined in the war against Oil. They formed a three-way coalition with Chicken and attempt to fight the temper and wrath of the Angry Oil.

And they made a lot of noise.

PS: I don't usually cook with my left hand. Today special, cos got photo shoot. So right hand is temporarily called away for a greater mission. So left hand got to work a bit harder today.

















I actually like this picture a lot. The green kai lan actually made the food look real good and tempting. My father never cooked kai lan with tomato and chicken before. I must tell him to try it. It really smells so good at this instance.


















All in and ready to be served. Everything is well except that I think I have too much gravy. But never mind, gravy can pour away. As long as I don't have too much oil.

















Success is a success! (Wah piang...Sane really very corny here leh. Bear with her.) It really smells good! And remember the packet? You remember how small it was?


















CAN MAKE TWO PORTIONS OK??? DON'T PLAY PLAY WITH SUCCESS HOR!

PS: I had the next portion of Success the next day with spinach and hotdog. Sadness reigns :(









Quick! Quick! Show me the food!

















Wait first... I must intro to you the heroes behind the dish....
















Sesame Oil: Oh, I am so honored! *Rubs tear...
Oil: Wait, I must get my speech... but it's stuck to my backside, and yours Miss Sesame Oil...
Vegeratarian Oyster Sauce: Then I say first lah... I would like to thank my father My Oyster and my mother Mrs Sauce for giving birth to such a tasty me... Oyster sauce...
Original Oyster Sauce: NO!!!! He's a fraud! His parents are actually artificial flavoring! I am the real thing!


The bicker continues....







AND NOW, FOR ITS DEBUT PERFORMANCE...

IS NONE OTHER THAN THE SANE AND





























STIR FRY CHICKEN, TOMATO & MUSHROOM WITH KAILAN


I don't know why but the camera refused to focus on the food. I think it's because of the distance. But then, nice or not?? I took a picture of the food AND me just to stop all speculations that 1) I downloaded the cooking photos and passed them off as my own, 2) that the cook was someone else and 3) that I actually died from cooking.


More photos!

















And another one...





















Aiyah, ok lah you impatient pig of a glutton.
















There I am, eating in front of the television set... like a true blue American.






And on my way to school that day, I saw a very beautiful sight.


















Ladies and gentlemen, Autumn is here.

=====
Jiak Bah Sane

Sane reflects @ this location permanently