AlwaySane Is In Da House

Thanks for all your well wishes

I'm back! First of all I just want to say thank you to everyone who wished me well for my long trip to Ithaca, New York.

I will attempt to write this post as coherently as possible.... heck, I'm just going to write whatever comes to my head so here goes...

Jieling: Your super-long sms made me cry buckets. You used up 3 sms to send me those words which will stay in my phone memory for as long as the phone or the SIM card lives. You take care girl and don’t kill yourself over LS (or rather, don’t kill LS).

Ruth: Thanks for the beautiful entry. Writing in Chinese especially. Amazingly I could understand. Proud of me not?

Yvonne Ho: Will wait, will wait for the DVDs! Haha! I’ll miss those salsa trips with you! Wonder when you can come over and get your phd. Then we can salsa in New York, New York style!

Chuen Hui: Hearing your voice over the phone encouraging me made me thank God for you. Also, it would be good if you can learn salsa. Thanks for the email too. I was surprised to see it and it certainly made me happy.

Alice: Thanks for the call. I’m sorry I sounded cracky. It was because I was crying. I wish you only the best. And yes, your blog entry. Sob....

Miss ST Chan: I will of course email you, about anything! You my Da Jie mah!

Kit Kit: You disappoint me leh! You cried over Derrick instead of me? I’m speechless. But girl, you know I will always think of you whenever I’m complaining…. Hee Hee…. Don’t kill the Royal Highness.

Kenny: Our last few chats were most enjoyable! Your recounting of your days in Oxford, really helped allayed my fears. I will look out for you on MSN! Don’t hide! And don't forget my 3-in-1 coffee.

Weeliam: Will miss you lots. Enjoy your work! I know, same place!

Nut Min: You promise ah! This December we spend the holidays together!

Min Er: Will catch you online! Thanks for all the great times at the beach, drinking and of course, 2-hour lunches! Stay pretty! And your body lotion will soon be on the way, once VS has discounts.

Samuel: Your sms was the last one I saw before I boarded the plane. You have safe trips too! Thank you so much! And don't get swarmed by the Shanghai mei meis!

Neighbor: Thanks for replying my sms-es. Sadly, got to reformat but hey, my God is great. And look, now I have wireless! Yippee!!!

Oh yeah.... thank you guys so much.

The past week has been really tough. Let me start from the beginning when I touched down at JFK airport.

I was so happy when I found out that my phone worked! I know! Like I can sms, I can receive calls. You cannot fathom how ecstatic I was when I saw the "SIGNAL" on my phone! I was half crying and half laughing I think the other riders on SuperShuttle were a bit unnerved. Haha....

But once I reached YMCA, and I sat on the bed and since it's 12 hours difference, I couldn't sleep. I started thinking about home. I thought about my dad, my mom, my grandma, my family, my house...and tears started flowing. For once I felt lonely. I kept on sms-ing through the night and many times I contemplated the notion of flying back to Singapore.

To h**l with school. I wanna go home.

Thank God my family were standing by me, telling me to be strong. Especially my cousin who stayed with me throughout and replying to all my nonsense. I didn't know how I survived but I did and truly it was by the grace of God.

Fast forward.

I arrived in Ithaca and moved into my house. It is a cute little house. I stay on the second floor, opposite my housemate who goes to the same school as me. He's a music major and a wonderfully helpful person. (Will go into that later)

Then, things started happening:

1. Insomnia -- Can't sleep at night. Don't know why. Kept on waking up. Body is tired but brain hyper active. For the first three nights I slept an average of 2 hours per night. I thought I was going to die.

2. Neck pain -- I developed this pain at my neck. I think it must have been the luggage as well as the bed (foam lah...at home sleep on spring bed. Need to adjust)

3. Laptop RIP - My greatest challenge. Had to get it repaired and cost money.

It really felt as if anything that could go wrong went wrong. And the devil is attacking me at my two most vulnerable areas: my health and finances.

I called home and cried to my father -- I was devastated. I didn't think I was going to make it and was this close to going home. I remembered it went like this:

Me: Pa... (cry)... I want to go home. I don't know why but everything just went wrong. I can't sleep, I am in pain and my laptop spoil. Must spend money and got no money already. How? Should I come home?

Pa: Don't be silly. I wanted to call you when I got your sms but thought you sleeping. I wanted to console you and tell you to stop worrying. Money that needs to be spent has to be spent. Don't worry about things such as money as I can earn them.. (Of course, he spoke in Chinese)

Then he went on to talk about how he made a super deal with one of his clients.

Ain't he a great dad? I love him and it's so comforting to know his love for me is so great that he will do anything to make me happy and comforted.

I spoke to my mommy too...for a whole 25 minutes! Haha.... like 2 ji-za-po on the phone... yada yada yada... it was fun to talk to her. She's such a cute mom...

And of course, my gorgeous cousins.... What would I do without your endless sms-es and msn...

Don't you think it's just like the devil to attack you at your most vulnerable areas and at your most vulnerable times? It is like "hey, I can't get you forever so might as well show you all that I have now!"

And ultimately, all that he had was nothing. My God is so great the devil was defeated.

he wanted to bring me down but instead God made me realized how much I am loved, protected and cherished.

I am now better, by the grace of God.

I've settled into my new home. My landlady is precious. She brought me shopping, showed me around, talked to me, allowed me to use her phone and if I need I can share her food.

And my housemate is a gem. He knew I desperately needed Internet connection and since I did not have a wireless router (yet), he graciously offered me his own computer, in his room, should I need to use it when he went back home during the weekend. I mean, how cool is that? He just said: Oh, if you need to use the computer, just use the one in my room. Don't worry about anything else until you get the router.

That made me realize how self-centered I am. I would not offer anyone to work on MY computer, especially when I'm away and yet my housemate (his name is Tim) graciously and generously allowed me to use his computer. He was not afraid of me looking at his data, he was not wary of my snooping around his room. This sense of charity and ability to share made me look at life in a new light. It's like, hey, the world is bigger out there and one should not be too bogged down by tiny details. Right now I've got the router and it's working well so I can type in my room. Yippee!

My advisor is great. We worked out the plan and it seems like I can do a thesis and complete the program in 2 years. It's all swell...

I made friends with this beautiful girl from France and since day one we have been talking to each other, going to the mall together, talking about homesickness, talking about anything...

I have never felt God's presence stronger than what I've felt in the past week. The time when I was most helpless and hopeless, God showed himself to be the almighty God, in complete control of the situation.

Just this morning, I went to church and guess what? The name of the Church is CHURCH ON THE ROCK. Wah siao! I couldn't believe me eyes when I saw that. It is a tiny church, and from outside it looks like a doll house. But the people in there are the warmest you can ever find. It was only my first attendance and they are already talking about giving me rides to and from church, giving me winter coats etc... Great people but worship style still a bit different lah. But doctrine is sound... Praise God.

I'm better now. Not so jet-lagged. Got used to the weather (very hot. macam Singapore at 12pm). Made friends. Fixed my computer.

I made a list of prayer request that I know God has already answered and I thought I can share them here:

1. Grace and wisdom in my studies
2. Sound and abundant finances
3. Good health (no more pain)
4. Fruitful assistantship duties
5. Extra lab duties

I know God has made these possible for me and I am joyful because of the magnifent outcome of my experience here.

Forever, my family and friends are in my life.

Love ya.

=====
The Grad School Chronicler

Sane reflects @ this location permanently