AlwaySane Is In Da House

10 Things you need to know about Bangkok

10. Discovery of Khao San

Located at the western side of Bangkok's tourist area, just north of Chinatown is a little-known strip called Khao San. It is literally dotted with cafes, stalls, budget hostels and booze camps. Here you'll find more European backpackers and Internet stations that plays English movies. Leo DiCap's movie The Beach had a location shoot here. Hell I haven't seen the show but Khao San sure is paradise found. Unlike Chatuchak (which I will talk about later), Khao San is a sure promise that YOU WILL NEVER EVER BE LOST. Unlike Chatuchak which is a collection of mazes within mazes which will put even the most experienced geography major at a lost, Khao San is literally A STRIP. You won't get lost. You have only one direction and when you reach the other end of the strip you either hail a taxi, or you can walk back to where you began. Besides the sheer convenience of having to conquer one and only one (long) street only, Khao San is FILLED with the most amazing bargains. Accessories, bags, skirts, cute tops (which I will go into detail later), unoriginal CDs, shoes as well as roadside hair braiding services and also a stall that allows you to make your own degree certificate. Who says you need to go to school? When you can't study, go Bangkok. Oh and who can complain about the cheap beer that you can get ever which way you turn to? And the prices are comparable to Chatuchak, just that you have maybe 5 stalls compared to 5000. Taxi from city centre to Khao San is about half an hour. If Chatuchak is the mother of all mothers of markets, the Khao San is the queen mother: with all the right stuff but slightly more elegant and pristine.

9. Beer

Now, I must make this clear. I AM NOT AN ALCOHOLIC. GET IT? NOT AN ALCOHOLIC. But yes, I gulp an occasional bailey's or screwdriver but I AM NOT AN ALCOHOLIC. Beer in Bangkok is even cheaper than coffee at Starbucks. It's like you can buy a whole carton, soak in it, and still have leftovers to drink. I mean, it's dirt cheap. I'm not encouraging you to get drunk and get a hangover the next day (which will be unwise cos you should be out there shopping) but just get a beer or cocktail as I can guarantee you will not get the same drink for the same price back home.

8. Watching a movie

Or better. Watch a Thai movie. And I don't mean HBO or cable but real movie in the cinema. I mean, even the adverts killed me. They were so funny I thought they are trailers (until I realize I'm the only one laughing. Silly me). Then there comes the beginning of the show which always precede with a National Anthem. The audience was patriotic. Everyone stood for the anthem (even the old foreigners with young Thai girlfriends). So please do not show disrespect by sitting through the entire anthem. Anyway, you will feel awkward as you will be the only one who isn't standing. It was truly an experience, not to mention watching an English movie with Thai subtitles. I watched Dodgeball. Man, Ben was funny.

7. Big C Shopping Centre

Another place to add to the usual MBK (where only the basement is worth shopping at, you can give the rest of the7 repeated-goods-from-basement-floors a miss) and Chatuchak is the BIG C SHOPPING CENTRE. Big C is like KMart or Walmart or Giant. It's a place with EVERYTHING, and they cost less than HALF the price of what you are gonna get back home. If you ask me, it's a deal. (Strangely, this does not apply to contact lens solution which surprisingly cost much more) However, things like medicine, food, beer and cosmetics cost so much less. Also, there are some things that cost a bomb here for just some really cheap materials bound togethere, they have them in BIG C for literally a fraction of the cost. You can seriously buy about half a year's supply back. Also, look out for the S&P cookie store. They are delicious. I guarantee you'll love it. Especially good are those kid-sized cookies that come in cylindrical containers. Really cute, and cheap, and yummy.

6. Clothes

Even though clothes are cheap in Bangkok, just a word of caution. To all those who are blessed with a long torso, beware. The clothes in Bangkok are surprisingly short. I mean, everything ends up as mid-riff. I only have ONE top that ends at my waist and I had to give the rest away. It's sad cos they are cheap and beautiful but they are just not practical! Unless, of course, you love mid-riffs but then again, it's a little too OTT as you can tell. And also, do not think you can bring an empty bag there and wear what you buy. Unless you have the time and $$ to send your newly acquired Spring-Summer fashion to the laundromat or wash them in your own hotel sink, DO NOT BUY AND WEAR. If not your skin will WEAR AND TEAR. Some of these clothes have been on a lot of people, they may have been stepped on, the dust may have accumulated from when Anna was still teaching the royal children "Getting to know you". If you want to take the risk of maybe ending up with itchy scratchy rashes on your body, my tip is to bring some clothes, and if you really need to, WASH BEFORE YOU WEAR.

5. Chatuchak

Having said all about Big C and Khao San, I still like Chatuchak. Hell, you'll get lost but you'll end up buying something even from the lost and found building. (There's a place which is like the center of Chatuchak, which has maps, info counter, policemen etc.) That's the joy of Chatuchak (CTC from now onwards). Everywhere you go there will be stalls. Five minutes ago the place was an empty square. Five minutes later, stalls selling bags, clothes, belts, food sprang up as if they just elevated themselves from underground. It's like there's this huge maze of stalls that just surfaced from their at-night-position below ground. It's just AMAZING how soon they can appear! So what to buy from CTC? Belts, a definite MUST-BUY. Why? Cheap. Good. Pretty. Cost less than MBK. 20 baht for one belt. Which is less than S$1. Now don't just stand there. Start buying. Next, white shirts. Cute little uniforms that university students there must wear. They can be office wears for some of us who still work in organizations that insist on CORPORATE ATTIRE. They are cheap and they look professional. So a definite must. Slippers, yes, get those which cost 90 baht for 2. Skirts, really pretty. Well, just BUY. Oh, bags, only if you must cos I have another nifty place to get bags (see 4). Accessories, yes. Just grab. Don't even bother to bargain cos they are already so dirt cheap. This will also be the place where you buy souvenirs for your aunties, uncles, cousins, colleagues, friends, your neighbor, your neighbor's mother-in-law, passer-bys, your clients, your customers, your customers' children, your clients' friends, your aircon maintenance mechanic, your cable guy, your cable guy's dogs....whoever you think counts as a breathing lifeform.

4. Buying bags

So you think MBK's 199 baht bags are a bargain? Hahahahaha.....Wait, I need to laugh... Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. This place that I go to is a gem. Bags there do not cost 199 baht. They don't even cost 100 baht. Drum roll......The bags there cost only 40 baht each! That is less than S$2 dollars! And they are pretty, of good quality, and cheap! This place is just at the corner of the Paholyothin road, leading to the main road with the BTS station (of which station name suddenly slipped my mind). It's a roadside stall.

3. Transportation

Taxis there can sometimes cost less than the BTS (skytrain). Yes, especially if you are travelling in a group of more than 3, stop wasting money and take a taxi. However, that is if you do not mind the traffic jam cos trust me, traffic jam is part and parcel of Bangkok. Bangkok = Traffic.

2. Q-ing for taxis at the airport

Taxis in Bangkok run by the metered fare. Go for that. Especially at the airport, sometimes a good hearted taxi driver will stop next to you (meaning you don't join the line) and offer to drive you to your destination. HOWEVER, they charge a fixed rate. And depending on the situation, it may cost less or more than the metered fare. Just to be on the safe side, go join the line.

And finally...






1. Taxicabs

Taxicabs in Bangkok is a money-making, tourist-cheating machine all by itself. They should be given an award for being the most innovative when it comes to business. Hey, who knows? The drivers may all be MBA students in their past-life. And I'm not just talking about the meter fare vs the fixed fare. If you look carefully at the display, instead of having just one screen (which is usually the fare), they have three. One for fare, one for distance travelled, and one for journey duration. So for some of the drivers who think that their passengers were recently evolved from the amoeba cell, they'll try to cheat and make them pay the one which shows the largest number. And they can be really fierce about it. DO NOT GIVE IN. Heck, pay them what is shown on the BIGGEST display, give them a dirty look, and leave. You know what? Don't even bother closing the door. Just so you know, the fare is the one on the BIGGEST display and it always starts with 35. Remember, 35 is the magic number. Also, should you need to pay toll (cos they travel on the expressway), pay on the spot. Don't ask the driver to pay first and you'll pay him later. He'll try to make you pay more and cook up some story which you don't understand because they don't speak English etc etc etc.

OK. You may wonder why I don't talk about massages or foot reflexology or spa...That's because I hate them.

Out.

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